Characteristics and Functions of Apetebi in the Ifa Orisa Community
An Apetebi is a role model for all women is ways she thinks, speaks and acts be it at home, in the Ifa community or even in the Society at large. In other words she must have Iwa Pele, (good character) and be honest and have the ability to correct her errors and grow from them.
The most important duty of an Apetebi in the home is the day-to-day running of the home front. An Apetebi is expected to be absolutely honest to her family (of procreation and orientation) be dedicated in all things she sets her mind on doing. Take care of her husband whom Ifa enjoins her to take as her first child, the children, brothers, and sisters as well as all those other people living in her home.
She is also expected to take care of the Ifa shrine and all the symbols of all the other Orisa in the house. An Apetebi must, as a matter of course, know how to cook all Ifa meals as well as all the meals of all the other Orisa in the house. As it is the duty of all Babalawos to know all the means of all Orisa, what each Orisa forbids and what the Orisa loves at any given time. It is also the duty of all Apetebi to know how to prepare all Orisa meals and understand under what conditions such meals are to be prepared as well as know when a particular meal is not to be given to an Orisa.
An Apetebi is duty bound to work hard in order to command the trust and confidence of her family. Her husband must be able to vouch for her character at all times. She must be able to impact sound morals into her children and loved ones who are in close contact with her. An Apetebi, needs to be reminded at all times that bringing up children and young ones in the proper way acceptable to the family and the society at large is the preserved responsibility of an Apetebi.
Irete-Otura says that “A childs mother is either the childs failure or its success” Apetebi should always strive to be the success story of her children at all times, by guiding and leading them right and proper.
In the community, an Apetebi is expected to be the shining example of Otito, Ododo and Iwa-Pele (good character) for all other women. Remember that in Eji-Ogbe, IFA says that “Whatever we think, Say or Do, all what we are looking for is character, Good Character” It is the duty of an Apetebi to infect all her friends and neighbors with her good character. She must be at the forefront of all good things happening in the community, or in the Ifa circle in which she belongs.
An Apetebi, needs to participate in programs which will bring development to her home, her community and to the whole society. She must be an active member of at lease one group whose focus is the socio-economic and moral up liftmen of her immediate community. If this is organized by members of her faith, the better for her. She must be however be free to work with people of any faith with an open mind and understanding with out any discrimination what so ever.
A woman will be able to proudly call herself an Apetebi only when she had been able to satisfy all criteria listed above. Anything short of this is not acceptable. Any of us who has not attained this level needs to work hard and concerted effort to earn the respect, glory and honor that the name Apetebi concerns on lucky women.
Olotoye Fasina Falade 1998